Sunday, July 26, 2015
Grad part 1!
The fibro thing.
So basically a couple weeks ago i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. i have to admit not knowing much about it...just that it had something to do with widespread pain. since that day i have done some reading, and it sure does explain me. and if it's what i have- i'm pretty sure i've had it for many many years. maybe LOTS. i have a hard time with a diagnoses like that. first of all- it feels like a life sentence. secondly, nobody cares about it- because for the most part, i look normal. it's not like a broken leg, or a bad knee. it's something you can hide and fake. i can't always though. i know that i only have so much energy and ability in the day. sometimes i spend it all on a work shift. sometimes i have the day off, so i can do more. some days i have a bit leftover and can go for a good walk. some days i can't. i feel bad though. i know it's mortality and we have tests. but i feel bad about it a bit...it's hard to explain but these are the thoughts i sometimes have.
-does she know how lucky she is that she CAN hike?
-does he know how lucky he is that he CAN do a 12 hour work shift?
-does she know how lucky she is that 3 hours of visiting teaching doesn't murder her body?
-does he know how lucky he is that cleaning the house isn't painful?
-does she know how lucky she is that her ears don't ring, her eyes don't have strange shapes floating around, her brain doesn't hurt, her jaw isnt' murdering her, and the rest of her body doesn't hate her?
-does he know how lucky he is that he can sit through a movie?
-does she know how lucky she is that she can drive a long drive without issues?
etc, etc.
i know everyone has issues- dont' get me wrong. and about 4 people know about this. i know it doesn't have to be the end of the world...and i know bodies can heal themselves. it' just been so long with pain. and it plays a number on your mind sometimes. some days are bad and i don't know if i can do this forever. some days are fine and i adjust to the new normal. some days i dont' want the new normal. i just want normal!!!! so it depends on the day. i really dont' have friends. you say no enough to people - they stop asking. i realize in the end, that they weren't true friends. my family is my real friends. they don't understand all of this yet- and i feel like talking to them about it is a downer to everyone. so unless they ask, i keep pretty quiet. there are lots of times i wish they would ask though. well- there it is! i've been keeping track of my pain for years and years. i finally have some answers. but not really. i am also pre-diabetic and chronically anemic. so i basically never feel that great. i'm not going to give up yet though.
-does she know how lucky she is that she CAN hike?
-does he know how lucky he is that he CAN do a 12 hour work shift?
-does she know how lucky she is that 3 hours of visiting teaching doesn't murder her body?
-does he know how lucky he is that cleaning the house isn't painful?
-does she know how lucky she is that her ears don't ring, her eyes don't have strange shapes floating around, her brain doesn't hurt, her jaw isnt' murdering her, and the rest of her body doesn't hate her?
-does he know how lucky he is that he can sit through a movie?
-does she know how lucky she is that she can drive a long drive without issues?
etc, etc.
i know everyone has issues- dont' get me wrong. and about 4 people know about this. i know it doesn't have to be the end of the world...and i know bodies can heal themselves. it' just been so long with pain. and it plays a number on your mind sometimes. some days are bad and i don't know if i can do this forever. some days are fine and i adjust to the new normal. some days i dont' want the new normal. i just want normal!!!! so it depends on the day. i really dont' have friends. you say no enough to people - they stop asking. i realize in the end, that they weren't true friends. my family is my real friends. they don't understand all of this yet- and i feel like talking to them about it is a downer to everyone. so unless they ask, i keep pretty quiet. there are lots of times i wish they would ask though. well- there it is! i've been keeping track of my pain for years and years. i finally have some answers. but not really. i am also pre-diabetic and chronically anemic. so i basically never feel that great. i'm not going to give up yet though.
Neglected!
This blog. I hate to say it- but it just hasn't felt like a priority lately. My bad! Time to catch up so that the book printed at the end of the year will have SOMETHING in it.
So---I'll have to catch up with grad, summer games, Baker party, and whatever else has happened in the last month or so.
We got AC!!! Happy happy day!! It happened on June9th. And so we survived a serious heat wave!! It quit working today- but hopefully we can figure it out...
Grad was great! Grad was hot! Grad was weird! But we are pretty proud of Tessa. She is intelligent and a great person. oh- and pretty too!! She has all the luck! The actual grad in the gym- oh my, it had to be 40 degrees in there. Every single person was fanning themselves and red in the face with sweat dripping. It was nasty gross!!! Tessa went to grad with Jordan Wright. She had a grad with lots of great girls. But I think she was glad to be done!!
Then two weeks after grad we had summer games in Claresholm. Pete was the coach of the U16 team. Mostly because we didn't want a different guy to do it. I'm not sure how much he enjoyed the endless hours of practices...but I think he likes it. He is a good coach. Their team ended up in 6th place.........................out of 6 teams. Ahem.
The week after that we had the Baker party- It was a pretty good time! Grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary. I hope they enjoyed it- it was a rather short 3 days and most of the one day was spent in the car in Waterton- with storms.
Pictures next.
So---I'll have to catch up with grad, summer games, Baker party, and whatever else has happened in the last month or so.
We got AC!!! Happy happy day!! It happened on June9th. And so we survived a serious heat wave!! It quit working today- but hopefully we can figure it out...
Grad was great! Grad was hot! Grad was weird! But we are pretty proud of Tessa. She is intelligent and a great person. oh- and pretty too!! She has all the luck! The actual grad in the gym- oh my, it had to be 40 degrees in there. Every single person was fanning themselves and red in the face with sweat dripping. It was nasty gross!!! Tessa went to grad with Jordan Wright. She had a grad with lots of great girls. But I think she was glad to be done!!
Then two weeks after grad we had summer games in Claresholm. Pete was the coach of the U16 team. Mostly because we didn't want a different guy to do it. I'm not sure how much he enjoyed the endless hours of practices...but I think he likes it. He is a good coach. Their team ended up in 6th place.........................out of 6 teams. Ahem.
The week after that we had the Baker party- It was a pretty good time! Grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary. I hope they enjoyed it- it was a rather short 3 days and most of the one day was spent in the car in Waterton- with storms.
Pictures next.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
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